Momma's Memories

My An Arkie's Faith column from the March 20, 2024, issue of The Polk County Pulse.

While cleaning the garage, I found a notepad in my Momma’s handwriting. Before she passed away, she had started writing down a few stories from her childhood. When Daddy was going through Momma's things after she passed away, he found this notepad and gave it to me. I was happy to see the notepad because I had misplaced it, and it had been a few years since I had seen it. There were only four handwritten pages, but I noticed a theme connecting the stories. 

I want to share a few of those stories with you. Momma grew up in California during the Great Depression. Her family had moved to California from Michigan to find work. She was eight or nine when her family moved back to Michigan.

Momma wrote in her notepad, “In Carmel, California, we lived in a stone house with a stone wall around the property. One day, we were left alone and told to stay in the yard. Dot and I were at the end of the driveway when a car came by. Dot picked up some gravel and threw it at the car. The man stopped the car and told us he was going to call the police.

I took Dot into the house and made her get under the bed. When our folks came home, I wanted to make sure they wouldn’t let the police take Dot away.”

On another page, she wrote, “While we were living in Bonsall, California, Dot and I went to the neighbors. When we were called home, we didn’t go right away. Daddy came after us. I ran ahead, and Daddy spanked Dot’s legs all the way home.”

I want to share one last story that she wrote. “One day, I slammed the door, and Mommy made me sit and wait for Daddy to get home and punish me. 

I was told that if I was unhappy at home, I should leave. I walked down the road a ways but came back and stood outside the door. I asked my mother what I would eat, what I would wear, and where I would sleep. She told me that would be my problem. So I decided home was the place to stay.”

I felt sad as I read the stories. I missed my Momma, but that wasn’t why I felt sad. I was heartsick that my Momma’s childhood memories seemed to all have the common theme of fear and punishment. 

Unfortunately, Christians often view their Heavenly Father through the same lens of fear and punishment. Many people see God as someone who will treat anyone who is against Him with terrible cruelty. Some Christian writers and speakers spend a lot of time focusing on the wrath of God and how He will torture sinners. I recently read an article by John Burton titled, "Is it Time for Hell Fire Preaching Again?" In the article, he stated, "We need hellfire preachers to emerge and announce to the church and the world the reality of their situation and the measure of God's wrath and judgment that is coming. Contrary to popular belief, a very real revelation of hell, of torment, is needed to draw people to the Lover of their souls."

I'm afraid I have to disagree with the idea that a very real revelation of hell, of torment, is needed to draw people to God. Instead, I want to lift up a gentle God. In Matthew 11:29 (NCV), Jesus describes himself this way, “Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.” Why would Jesus describe himself as gentle? We find the key in 1 John 4:18 (NKJV), “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

I’m not saying that there are no consequences. There is a judgment. Galatians 6:7-8 (NIV) tells us, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life." But 2 Peter 3:9 (NKJV) tells us that God “is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." 

Does God use fear as a tactic to lead us to repent? Many Christian preachers and writers use fear. Fear spills over into our outreach efforts. We feel that we must warn the world of judgment, the Second Coming, and hell. Shouldn’t it rather be our privilege to announce to the world the Good News that Jesus is almost here? We can all be ready for that because of what He’s already done before we were born. If we choose Him daily, we have nothing to fear from judgment and hell.

Undoubtedly, the world needs to come to repentance, but does God use fear to motivate us? The Bible says in Romans 2:4(NASB), "Do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" What leads us to repentance?  Is it fear?  No, we are led to repentance by the kindness of God. When we experience God’s kindness and feel his love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, we want to love him. When we love God, we want to please him; we want Him to live in us and work through us.

Seeing God’s kindness towards us makes us sorry for our actions that hurt Him. It leads us to repentance. It doesn’t lead us to fear Him. Jesus doesn’t want us to fear Him. He wants to be our friend.

In John 15:15 (AMP), Jesus says, “I do not call you servants any longer, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you My friends, because I have revealed to you everything that I have heard from My Father.” A servant is afraid of his master, but a real friendship should not involve fear. Jesus wants to be our friend and to dispel our fears. He wants to cast out fear.

Gentle Reader, God doesn’t want you to fear Him. He wants to save you. Do you see God as a harsh, demanding, cruel God or a loving God? Psalms 86:15 (NKJV) says, “But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.” Do you see God as a gentle, compassionate, and gracious God? A God who wants to save you. I hope so!