Smedleys Committed to Family, Healing

This article, written by Andy Philpot, was published in the July 10, 2014 issue of The Mena Star.

Each year at the Polk County Relay For Life celebration, new stories are shared on the battles, victories, and caregiving involved with cancer and our local community members.

When recognition awards were given at this years Relay, held at the end of May, Lyndell Smedley of Hatfield, was named Caregiver of the Year.  For those who attended Relay, they know at least some of the story behind why Lyndell was awarded Caregiver of the Year.  Lyndell's story of dedication to his daughter and his family is a testimony of true dedication to being there for his daughter, and determined to see her through until she was healthy.

Telicia Smedley, daughter of Lyndell and Michelle Smedley, is a former Hatfield graduate who has gone on to become a teacher in Little Rock.  When she had gone to a doctor's appointment on Valentine's Day in 2013, she had been experiencing some issues with bruising in too easy a fashion.  When she went to that doctor's appointment that day for something unrelated to cancer, she didn't expect that it would immediately change her life.  Lyndell and Michelle weren't expecting the phone call that they would receive that day, which would also change their lives immediately.

The news that Lyndell and Michelle got was that Telicia had leukemia.

Telicia was immediately admitted into the hospital, and almost in a whirlwind, got started on chemotherapy to begin the fight against this aggressive condition.  She didn't expect that her doctor appointment would land her in a Little Rock hospital for the next 61 days.

A full feature will be run in a future issue of The Mena Star as space permits for the full story of Telicia's battle against cancer, and her Dad's dedication every step of the way.

I Fought Fears So My Wife Could Fight Cancer

Today's post is written by Cameron Von St. James. He came across An Arkie's Musings, and saw that fighting back against cancer was a priority here. He contacted me and offered to tell his story to my readers. We corresponded and he sent me his story. It is both compelling and informative. Here is his story of his personal battle with cancer as a caregiver.


I Fought Fears So My Wife Could Fight Cancer
by Cameron Von St. James 

The most terrifying day of my life was November 21, 2005. It was that day that my wife Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, just three months after giving birth to our first and only daughter, Lily. My life was never the same after receiving that news, but in the years that we battled cancer, I learned lessons that will last me a lifetime.

Heather's reaction to the news was pure shock. She looked like she wasn't there anymore. When we were confronted with questions about her treatment and care options, I took over and answered for her. I had to. She was too scared, shocked into silences, and I didn't blame her.  I knew she needed help, and I chose the best treatment option for us at the time, which was to travel to Boston to see Dr. David Sugarbaker, a renowned specialist in the treatment of mesothelioma. Travel was tough on us because we had a newborn daughter at the time, but it was just another obstacle for us to beat together.

During the first two months of our battle, our lives were utter chaos. I worked, took care of Lily at home, took care of the bills, and cared for Heather as she endured the hell of cancer. It was an emotionally draining time and I cried many nights, fearing that I wasn't doing enough, even though there were times when I knew I was doing too much. There was no choice. If we were going to beat this thing and raise Lily together, we had to do anything we could. Heather's energies were focused on getting well, mine were pulled in every other direction.

Medical bills soon piled up and financial pressures were at an all-time high. We had to travel to Boston for treatments and soon the bills were skyrocketing. For the first time in my life, I accepted financial help from family and friends when they offered it. In this war, anything went. We simply had to take every possible avenue of help that we could if we were going to make it. My strongest advice for any caregiver or cancer patient is to accept every offer of help that comes your way. There is no room for pride in a fight with cancer, and even the smallest offer of help, be it a meal, a shoulder to cry on or a kind word of encouragement, can be a weight lifted off your shoulders and at the very least will remind you that you’re not alone.

I'm so proud of Heather for what she endured during this time and the beautiful person she remained during it. Today, over seven years after her mesothelioma diagnosis she is cancer-free and healthy.  Lily has her mother, something that I feared she wouldn't be able to experience.

Two years after Heather’s diagnosis, I returned to school to get my college degree, with the lessons I learned through my family’s fight against cancer.  I received my degree in Information Technology and graduated with high honors. I was able to share some of these experiences during my graduation speech, an honor that I readily accepted when it came my way. The lessons I learned during Heather's battle with cancer are the most valuable of my life, and I shared them with my fellow graduates that day, telling them that within each of us is the strength to accomplish impossible things.  Heather and Lily were in the audience to cheer me on, and that was the greatest reward of all.

Regina Lawry - Hero of Hope

In the fall of 2011 my wife, Regina, was chosen to represent the American Cancer Society as the Mid-South Division's first Hero of Hope in the caregiver category.  This is the speech that she has given in over 15 locations during the past year including the steps of the State Capitol.

I’m Regina Lawry, from Mena, Arkansas.  I’m a caregiver and I’m 1 out of 7.

I’m the only one in my immediate family that has never had a cancer diagnosis.

When I was a little girl in the early 60’s I went out collecting money for ACS with my mother.  At that time the ACS would send out envelopes and ask people to take them around their neighborhoods.  I can remember asking her why we were doing it and she would tell me, “You never know who it might help.”

In 1975 she was diagnosed with leukemia.  In the 70’s leukemia was a death sentence.  There was no treatment. 

She would get so weak.  I remember her coming to my house one day and she was too weak to even open the screen door.  It was as if mom’s blood would just disappear.  

At that time the only thing they could do for her was to give her platelets or whole blood.  They were giving her several units of whole blood and or platelet every week. 

It was the ACS that developed apheresis (the technology to separate the platelets from the whole blood).  This technology is used in many other medical applications also.       

At that time the family was responsible for replacing the blood that was used for her.  We all donated and were always scrambling to find other donors.  The Local ACS office donated over 100 units in her name.  I’m not saying that this is a service that is provided by ACS.  It’s just how much they care.

The doctors decided to remove her spleen and hopefully stop the loss of blood.  While she was in the hospital they asked her to participate in a bone marrow study.  They were studying the progression of the disease.  She was told that it would not benefit her, but would hopefully help others later on. 

They told her that it was painful.  It was done with a local and they had to drill into the hip bone and remove the marrow.  We tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted that she would do it.  She said, “You never know who this might help.”  In December of 1976 she lost her battle with cancer.

In the summer of 1996 (20 years later) a bone marrow transplant saved my sister Lenora’s life.  In February of that year she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. 

I took care of her 6 weeks during her transplant.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done.  As a caregiver you are completely exhausted all of the time and you are watching someone you love go through something so difficult. My brother Duane was her stem cell donor.

ACS is still funding platelet and stem cell research.  The ACS does NOT fund embryonic stem cell research.  I repeat the ACS does NOT fund embryonic stem cell research.  That was important to me.

A few years later my sister Roberta was diagnosed with bi-lateral breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy along with chemotherapy.  She is still cancer free. 

Not long afterwards my sister Bunny was diagnosed with breast cancer and chose to have a double mastectomy.  It was caught early and no further treatments were required. 

After Roberta’s treatments and recovery she became involved in Relay for Life in Enumclaw, Washington.  She invited all of us to come to Enumclaw and support her in the Relay.  We all went, because that’s the kind of family we are and we wanted to help her through her healing process.

I cannot tell you what it meant to me when I watched my siblings walk arm and arm around that track in the survivor lap.  Then when I saw my mother and my father’s luminary bags during the luminary ceremony I knew it was something that I had to be a part of. 

I returned to Enumclaw for a few years for Relay.  Then one day I got a luminary form in my bank statement.  They were having a Relay in Polk County.  I called the number on the form, signed up a team, raised $7000 and have been the chairman of the Polk County Relay for 5 years. 

Not too long ago on Facebook I saw that my cousin Michael was diagnosed with leukemia and was getting ready to undergo a bone marrow transplant.  I called him and we talked about my mother and what she had done.  We cried and we laughed.  36 years later bone marrow and stem cell research is still saving lives. 

The money that is raised helps long term.  We may not see the results today but ACS researchers save thousands and thousands of lives.  I know, because I’ve seen it first hand through things like Blood apheresis, bone marrow studies, stem cell research and various drugs and chemotherapies. 

So why do I Relay?  It’s my legacy.  I want my grand-children to know what my mother did for love.  She would have endured it all for a stranger, but ended up doing it for those she loved.  I want there to be treatments if they ever need them. 

I’m Regina Lawry and I Relay BIG in Polk County, Arkansas.