Nicolas N. Scott Eulogy

Eric Scott delivered this Eulogy at Nick Scott's memorial service. He graciously gave me permission to post it to my blog. Whether you knew Nick or not, Eric's eulogy is powerful and really made me think about the way I view people. Please take a few moments and read his words.

Eulogy for Nicolas N. Scott
by Eric Scott
Ph.D student in Computer Science
George Mason University

The last few years of Nick’s life were hard. Certainly harder than anything I've been through. There is no way to sugar coat it: as a homeless man in Oklahoma City, Nick suffered a lot. At Nick’s age, he should have been looking forward to an open-ended vista of possibilities. The American Dream, with all its hopes and promises, should have been tantalizing him with its optimism. And on his good days, Nick did dream of future success the way a young person should. He dreamt of getting his G.E.D. and going back to school, of making enough money to pay back everyone he had ever hurt, and of becoming a lawyer and helping people in situations like his.

But most days, Nicolas was trapped in a sense of futility. Robert Frost described an old man in a similar position in one of his poems, “The Death of the Hired Man.” Young as he was, it could easily have been Nick, Nick who lived as an illegal immigrant in his own country, barely eking out a living as a hired hand. Frost writes of him:

So concerned for other folk,
And nothing to look backward to with pride,
And nothing to look forward to with hope,
So now and never any different.

If there’s one thing that I've consistently heard from Nick’s friends and acquaintances over the years, it was that he was truly concerned for other folk. Nick did many things that he regretted, some things as innocent as stealing food to survive, and some things less easy to forgive. I don’t know what it’s like to be locked in the cycle of hopelessness that so many people living in poverty experience from day to day. I’m told that money loses value when there is never enough of it. There is a certain logic to irresponsibility in situations where human flourishing is rare and precious.

But people never lost value for Nick. Nick was a passionate believer in compassion and empathy. Nick stood in judgment over himself for his failures to do justice to people and their experiences. And he stood in judgment over me, over society and criminal justice, and over the church. The one person I never heard him criticize was his late mother, Tilly Scott, who for Nick embodied a complete and unconditional regard for the well-being of her son.

Nick went back and forth on his religious beliefs. Life on the street doesn't afford much luxury for debating academic arguments about God and theology. He didn't know what he believed, but he read his Bible regularly, and Nick seemed to genuinely feel that Christ was often more present in the homeless shelters and jail cells of Oklahoma City than in its churches. He tried many times to explain to me his belief that there is good in everyone, a source of dignity even in what most of us would consider broken and violent souls. Nick knew convicted murderers that he believed were among the most profound representatives of Christ-like compassion that you could find.

A few weeks ago the minister at my church in Virginia delivered a message on forgiveness, and challenged everyone in our congregation to forgive one person that week, and to ask forgiveness from someone. Things were tense between Nick and I at the time. He’d told some fibs while trying to get my family to help him with rent money, and I was feeling pretty stern. It was a busy week for me, and I procrastinated on my homework, but finally I told Nick that I forgave him, and that supporting him was what was most important to us. He died that evening.

Because of my minister’s challenge, I have the comfort of knowing that Nick’s last words to me were of gratitude. That week, his family had chosen to love him unconditionally. He told me that it meant a lot, and that he would try to do better toward us.

But what I failed to do, and what I wish I could do now, is ask Nick’s forgiveness. Not just for the times I wasn't there to help him. I want Nick’s forgiveness for being slow to learn how to see the dignity in every human being. It is always far easier to judge the homeless than to help them, even with family. On Nick’s behalf, I challenge all of us, myself included, to see the Christ in those in need. We have to go beyond feeling sorry for others, and build relationships that allow us to truly understand them. Nick is no longer here for us to learn to love, but his belief in love is something we can carry on now that he is gone.

Reunion

Over the past several months I have enjoyed attending several reunions.  In July I went to Tennessee for my aunt’s 85th birthday celebration.  Then in August I was able to attend my cousin’s 50th wedding anniversary.  He was the best man at my wedding.  I had a great time with relatives I seldom see.

Two weeks ago, my wife and I attended our 40th High School reunion. We both attended Campion Academy in Loveland, Colorado and graduated in 1973.  It had been 30 years since we had seen most of our classmates - we attended our ten year reunion.  As we pulled onto the campus of Campion Academy we were a bit nervous.  What would our old classmates be like?  Would we have anything in common? Would we recognize them?  Would they recognize us?

As I parked the car and walked up to the registration table my apprehension was confirmed as I couldn't place the first person who spoke to me.  But within just a few minutes all uneasiness melted away as old friends greeted us.  I was amazed as classmates bridged the forty years like it was no time at all.

While we were there, I looked up an old friend I hadn't seen in years. When I lived in Campion, he lived just a block away. He was a great friend and we spent a lot of time together. It was nice to be able to be together again like old times even if it was only for an hour or so. We reminisced about many things including our “muscle” cars; his six cylinder Ford Falcon and my Nash Metropolitan.

As we were leaving his place, he turned to me and said, “I need to apologize to you.  I was out of line”.  I wasn't sure what he was talking about.  It had been over 35 years since we had visited with each other.  I told him that even the best of friends disagree sometimes and all was forgiven.  I really had no recollection of a serious disagreement between us, but something had been eating at him for years.

I had forgiven him years ago and couldn't even remember what the disagreement was about.  It reminded me of the verses in Micah 7:18,19.  “Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage?  He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy.  He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea”.

God want to forgive us.  He longs to forgive us.  He wants to reconcile with us.

In Romans 5:10,11 the Bible tells us,  “For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation”.

Some versions use the phrase “restored our relationship” or “made us his friends” in place of reconciled.  God wants us to be his friends; he wants to restore our relationship.  He wants a reunion.

Just like I was a bit apprehensive before my high school reunion, sometimes we are apprehensive about a reunion with Jesus.  We know that we aren't worthy.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of a man who has two sons. The younger son asks his father to give him an early inheritance. Once received, the son goes to a distant land and begins to waste his fortune on wild living. When the money runs out, the son finds himself in dire circumstances. He takes a job feeding pigs. He is so destitute that he even longs to eat the food the pigs eat.

The young man finally decides to return to his father and ask for forgiveness and mercy.  Realizing he is not worthy to be a part of the family he hatches a plan to ask to be a servant in his father’s house.

Let’s pick up the story in Luke 15:20, “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

The son was focusing on how unworthy he was – and with good reason.  But all the father could think of was the reunion and how happy he was to have his son back.

Luke 15:22-24 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry”.

God wants a reunion, he wants reconciliation, and he wants to restore his relationship with you.  He wants to be your friend, but you have to come to the Father.  Don’t miss the reunion!

Rear View Mirror

As a windshield installer, one of the things that I am often asked to do is to glue the rear view mirror back on to a windshield when it has fallen off.  Have you ever driven a car without a rear view mirror?  It can be uncomfortable.  Why do cars have a rear view mirror?  Sometimes we need to know what is behind us.

Do we need a spiritual rear view mirror? Yes, I think we need to know what is behind us.  When Moses was presenting the Feast of Unleavened Bread to his people he said in Exodus 13:3, “Remember this day in which you went out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage; for by strength of hand the Lord brought you out of this place”.  After presenting the particulars of the feast he then said in verse 8, “And you shall tell your son in that day, saying, ‘This is done because of what the Lord did for me when I came up from Egypt”.

It is important for us to look back and see what God has done for us in the past.  It gives us something to base our belief on.  God wants us to remember.  The word remember is used 230 times in the New King James Version of the Bible.  

The first time it was used was in the story of Noah.  Genesis 9:13-16 tells us, “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever … the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant…  Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and … the earth.”

Whenever you see a rainbow it is a glance in the rear view mirror that tells you that God made a promise and you can be sure he will keep it.

In Psalms 105:5 it says, “Remember His marvelous works which He has done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth”.  Just like a quick glance in the rear view mirror of your car can put your mind at ease, remembering what God has done for us is very reassuring.

A rear view mirror is great for checking out what is happening behind you, but there is something that a rear view mirror isn't good for.   Would you want to be on the road with me if I spent all of my time looking in the rear view mirror?  That would be very dangerous.  It is also dangerous in our spiritual lives if we spend all of our time in the past.

In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul tells us, “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus”.

Paul says that the first step in pressing forward is forgetting what is behind.  We are to remember what God has done for us in the past, but we are to forget our own past. 

The past can be a terrible enemy.   John MacArthur said in reference to Paul's statement in Philippians 3:13: "Churches are full of spiritual cripples, paralyzed by the grudges, bitterness, sins, and tragedies of the past”.

Writer Max Lucado likens holding a grudge to being in quicksand. When we hold a grudge, we just can't seem to get out of its grasp. The more we think about it and struggle with it the more we sink, and the deeper we go. I really think that the only way we can get ourselves of the quicksand of holding a grudge is through the power of God. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:26,27, "Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.

Our conflict with the devil is hard enough without us intentionally giving him a mighty foothold.  Don’t spend your time looking in the rear view mirror at all of the wrongs that have been done to you.

  

The Bible makes it clear that the Christian should forgive, not hold grudges.  Matthew 6:14-15 states, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Can forgiveness change the past?  No.  What will forgiveness do?  It sets us free from the past so we can move into the future.  Isn't that what God wants?  He wants us to forget what lies behind and reach forward to what lies ahead.

Sometimes I think that the only thing harder than forgiving is to accept forgiveness.  When I was growing up in Colorado, my pastor was Pastor George. I can still remember him teaching on the scripture 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. 1 John 1:9 became my favorite verse.

Over the years I have come to realize that there is a problem with this verse. The problem is not actually with the verse, but that many Christians don’t believe it. They say they believe, but their actions show they don’t feel forgiven.

Isaiah 43:25 tells us that God blots out our sins, and will not remember them.   Psalms 103:12 tells us that God has removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west.  Micah 7:19 says that God will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.

When you are forgiven God has blotted out your sins, He has removed them as far as the east is from the west, He has cast them into the depths of the sea.  Don’t be looking in your rear view mirror for them.  

We need to learn how to properly use our rear view mirror.  Look back at how God has led in our life, and how he has blessed us.  Don’t look back at our sins that God has promised to forgive as we forgive those who have sinned against us.