You Might Be a Country Boy If

In the last year of his life, my Daddy, Bob Lawry, wrote a list of things titled "You Might be a Country Boy If..."  Here is the complete list

You Might Be a Country Boy If...

You have used your boot to carry water from the ditch to fill your radiator

You have rocked your car back and forth to pick up the last bit of gas when you are on empty

You have ever blown in your gas tank when vapor locked

You ever poured water from the ditch on the fuel pump when vapor locked

You ever drove home on a flat tire (whomp, whomp, whomp)

You ever road a train behind a steam engine

You ever poured water into the master cylinder when you were out of brake fluid

You ever made your girlfriend shift gears because your right arm was occupied

You ever drove home with the park lights when the last headlight went out

You ever used a paper matchbook to gauge the point gap

You ever used a fence post for a jack to change a tire

You ever drove home on the rim when you had a flat tire

You ever used oatmeal for stop leak

You ever pumped up a flat tire with a hand pump

You ever painted a car with Mama's powder puff

You ever hitched up a team of horses to pull your car to start it

You ever herded cattle with a Model A Ford

You ever hauled calves home in the back seat of your car

You ever rode in the rumble seat in the rain

You ever stuck your head out the window when your windshield iced up

You ever stuck your head out the window when you were sleepy

You ever painted whitewalls with a brush

You ever put in 50 cents worth of gas at a time

You ever stopped a gas tank leak with soap

You ever filed your points with your girlfriend's fingernail file

You ever drove looking through the steering wheel when you were too little to see over the top

You ever used the hand throttle for cruise control

You ever patched a tube beside the road

You ever made a slingshot from an old inner tube

You ever geared down when your brakes were bad

You ever speed shifted without using the clutch

You always kept a blanket in the car because the heater didn't work

You ever kept a sack in front of the radiator because you didn't have enough antifreeze

You ever hitchhiked across more than two states

You ever cut wood with a crosscut saw

You ever carried in enough wood to last all night and the next morning

You ever walked in the snow to the outhouse in the middle of the night

You ever drug in the metal tub to take your weekly bath

You ever helped your Mama hang the wash on the clothesline

You ever licked the beater when Mama made cake

You ever hoed cuckleburrs out of the cornfield

You ever took a bath in the creek on a hot summer evening

You ever picked strawberries for five cents a quart

You ever peddled corn door to door for twenty-five cents a dozen then ate tomatoes and cheese in the park

You ever drove the Model A when you were eight years old

Your Mama cooked on a wood cookstove and heated the house with a Warm Morning wood heater

You never heard of boughten dog food. Dogs ate table scraps, milk, and hunted for themselves

You ever poked wires on a stationary hay baler powered by a big belt running to an old McCormick-Deering tractor

You ever drank warm water from a glass jug wrapped in a gunny sack

You grew up in 100-plus degree summers with no electricity and a wood cookstove, canning corn, tomatoes, and green beans in a hot kitchen

You ever picked out black walnuts by hand for Christmas candy and bitterscotch pies

You ever took a walk down the raos after supper to listen to the Whip-poor-wills

You ever pulled homemade taffy

You ever made fudge with black walnuts and pecans

You ever made Jello, put the bowl in a bucket, and let it down in the well to set the Jello

You ever put a jar of milk in a bucket, and let it down in the well to keep it cool

You ever begged Mama and Daddy to let you stay all night with cousins on Saturday Night and Sunday

You ever stayed up Saturday night til midnight listening to the Grand Ole Opry on WSM Nashville, Tennessee