E is for Empathy

The ABC Wednesday Meme is a great way to see some great blogs. This week the letter is E.  E is for Empathy.

Today is the 13th day in a row that I have run a fever.  It seems like I can't even remember when I wasn't sick.  A week ago I went to the doctor.  He did a flu test and decided that I didn't have the flu, but that I had one of several other viruses that are making their way around town.  He told me there wasn't much he could do for me and I would just have to wait it out.  He said that it normally ran it course in about two weeks.  I certainly hope so, because I am very tired of feeling sick.

One thing that this experience has given me is empathy.  In my work with the Relay For Life and the American Cancer Society I meet lots of people who are going through cancer treatment.  Although I am not equating in any way my experience the past couple of weeks with going through cancer treatment, I do think that it has given me more empathy.  As a self-employed person I have not had the luxury of being able to take off of work.  I have just had to push through.  I know of so many people who go through cancer treatment and just have to push through with life.

According to Psychology Today's website,  empathy is the experience of understanding another person's condition from their perspective. You place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling.  The power of true empathy is its ability to give us a fresh understanding of the other person's emotions and thoughts to illuminate an aspect of their experience that would not have been apparent to us had we not stepped into their shoes.

Empathy gives us the ability to recognize another's emotional state, feel in tune with that emotional state, and if it is a negative/distressful emotion, feel and show appropriate concern.  I know that whenever I meet someone going through difficult times, I never know what to say to them.  I do know that It is never appropriate to say."I know what you are going through".  One person can never know what someone else is going through.

Elizabeth Thomas states that, "Empathy is the only human superpower-it can shrink distance, cut through social and power hierarchies and transcend differences".  Just think we can all be super heroes if we would just use our super power of empathy for others.

Are You Experienced?

On March 5 there will be a new Jimi Hendrix album released titled ‘People, Hell & Angels.’ It is likely to be one of the most important archival releases of 2013. The album is being advertised as featuring 12 new and unreleased Hendrix tracks. Why is there so much interest in Jimi Hendrix over 40 years after his death?

James Marshal Hendrix was born in Seattle, Washington, on November 27, 1942; an American of African, European, Cherokee Indian and Mexican descent. An unsettled home environment made Jimi spend much of his early years living with his grandmother, a full-blooded Cherokee Indian, in Canada.

His mother died when Jimi was 15, about the same time that Jimi began to take a serious interest in music and playing the guitar. When he was 12 he got his first electric guitar - the instrument which shaped the rest of his life.


Jimi Hendrix is considered by many to be the most influential and talented electric guitarist in history. He achieved worldwide fame in 1967 playing at the Monterey Pop Festival, then headlined at Woodstock in 1969. Hendrix is widely known for and associated with the use of hallucinogenic drugs, most notably LSD. Various forms of sleeping pills and speed fueled his "stop and go" lifestyle throughout his career.

The most controversial topic however, concerns his alleged abuse of heroin. The Hendrix family, along with a portion of his friends and biographers, emphatically maintains that Jimi was never a heroin user. An equally strong number of associates and writers, including former band mate Noel Redding, insist that he did use heroin.

Jimi's life was cut short at the age of 27. In the days that lead up to his death witnesses said that he was obviously high on drugs and he had a lot of cannabis on him. He was in a terrible state, highly nervous. He spent Wednesday, September 17, 1970 looking for drugs, while visiting houses around London.


In the early morning hours of Thursday, September 18, 1970, Jimi Hendrix was found dead in the basement flat of the Samarkand Hotel in London. Hendrix died amid circumstances which have never been fully explained, and the exact details of his death will probably never be confirmed. He had spent the night with his German girlfriend, Monika Dannemann, and likely died in bed after drinking wine and taking nine Vesperax sleeping pills, then drowning in his own vomit.

What a sad story. What a terrible waste of a young mans life. He had rocketed to stardom in 1967 with the release of his first album "Are You Experienced". In the title song he sang “Are You Experienced”? “Ah! Have you ever been experienced? Well, I have”. Young hip listeners at that time new what he was asking when he sang “Are you experienced. Ah! Have you ever been experienced? Well, I have”. They knew that he was asking if the had used drugs.

I am asking you today, Are you experienced? You don't have to answer that. But really I want to ask you are you experienced? I'm not Jimi Hendrix. So I'm not asking about drugs. But I do want to ask you are you experienced? Have you experienced the grace and love of God? I can only hope that you have.


I know that I have received one gracious blessing after another. The greatest blessing is found in Romans 5:8, "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us". What a blessing. I know that God loves me because while I was still a sinner Jesus died for me.

In Ephesians 1:7,8 Paul writes "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and understanding.”

God's grace is a wonderful gift to humankind. Grace is God's love freely offered to us. We do not do anything to "earn" it. I hope that you take time each day to reflect upon how you have experienced God's grace in your life.


SUNSET ON RICH MOUNTAIN NEAR MENA, ARKANSAS

I have experienced so much of God's love and grace in my life. I have so many things to be thankful for. I am thankful that Jesus died for me, and that he has promised in 1 John 1:9 that if I confess my sins he is faithful to forgive my sins. I am thankful that I have such easy access to God’s word, The Bible. I am thankful that I was born into a Christian family. I am thankful that I live in the USA; that I have a wonderful spouse who loves God, and that I have been blessed with loving children and grandchildren. I am thankful that I am able to live in a rural area. What a blessing it is to live in Mena, Arkansas. You can see that from God’s abundance I have received one gracious blessing after another.

What about you? Have you experienced God's love and Grace? Are you experienced?

I Fought Fears So My Wife Could Fight Cancer

Today's post is written by Cameron Von St. James. He came across An Arkie's Musings, and saw that fighting back against cancer was a priority here. He contacted me and offered to tell his story to my readers. We corresponded and he sent me his story. It is both compelling and informative. Here is his story of his personal battle with cancer as a caregiver.


I Fought Fears So My Wife Could Fight Cancer
by Cameron Von St. James 

The most terrifying day of my life was November 21, 2005. It was that day that my wife Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, just three months after giving birth to our first and only daughter, Lily. My life was never the same after receiving that news, but in the years that we battled cancer, I learned lessons that will last me a lifetime.

Heather's reaction to the news was pure shock. She looked like she wasn't there anymore. When we were confronted with questions about her treatment and care options, I took over and answered for her. I had to. She was too scared, shocked into silences, and I didn't blame her.  I knew she needed help, and I chose the best treatment option for us at the time, which was to travel to Boston to see Dr. David Sugarbaker, a renowned specialist in the treatment of mesothelioma. Travel was tough on us because we had a newborn daughter at the time, but it was just another obstacle for us to beat together.

During the first two months of our battle, our lives were utter chaos. I worked, took care of Lily at home, took care of the bills, and cared for Heather as she endured the hell of cancer. It was an emotionally draining time and I cried many nights, fearing that I wasn't doing enough, even though there were times when I knew I was doing too much. There was no choice. If we were going to beat this thing and raise Lily together, we had to do anything we could. Heather's energies were focused on getting well, mine were pulled in every other direction.

Medical bills soon piled up and financial pressures were at an all-time high. We had to travel to Boston for treatments and soon the bills were skyrocketing. For the first time in my life, I accepted financial help from family and friends when they offered it. In this war, anything went. We simply had to take every possible avenue of help that we could if we were going to make it. My strongest advice for any caregiver or cancer patient is to accept every offer of help that comes your way. There is no room for pride in a fight with cancer, and even the smallest offer of help, be it a meal, a shoulder to cry on or a kind word of encouragement, can be a weight lifted off your shoulders and at the very least will remind you that you’re not alone.

I'm so proud of Heather for what she endured during this time and the beautiful person she remained during it. Today, over seven years after her mesothelioma diagnosis she is cancer-free and healthy.  Lily has her mother, something that I feared she wouldn't be able to experience.

Two years after Heather’s diagnosis, I returned to school to get my college degree, with the lessons I learned through my family’s fight against cancer.  I received my degree in Information Technology and graduated with high honors. I was able to share some of these experiences during my graduation speech, an honor that I readily accepted when it came my way. The lessons I learned during Heather's battle with cancer are the most valuable of my life, and I shared them with my fellow graduates that day, telling them that within each of us is the strength to accomplish impossible things.  Heather and Lily were in the audience to cheer me on, and that was the greatest reward of all.

D is for Duck Dynasty

The TV show, Duck Dynasty, follows a Louisiana  family living the American dream as they operate a thriving duck call while staying true to their family values.  Over the years I have been very strict about not viewing "reality" TV.  The idea that there was any kind of reality in these shows seemed far-fetched.  Over the last year while I was "not watching" reality TV, I kept hearing about a show that people were crazy about; Duck Dynasty.  Last year my wife gave her Hero of Hope speech in Sheridan, Arkansas at a Relay For Life Celebrity Waiter Event.  The event ended with a live auction.  We were amazed when an autographed duck call was sold for 850.00.  We later found out that it was a Duck Commander duck call from the Duck Dynasty TV show.

The show is filmed in West Monroe, Louisiana just 70 miles from where my daughter and her family live.  My son-in-law likes to hunt ducks.  I decided that I really should see what all the fuss was about. Once I watched Duck Dynasty I was hooked.  The characters remind me of people I know here in Western Arkansas.  They are real rednecks, and I know real rednecks when I see them.  My young granddaughters refer to the show as The Rednecks, as in "we want to watch The Rednecks".

Willie Robertson is the CEO of Duck Commander. As the only one with the business degree, he took the company from a living room operation to a premiere destination for all things outdoors. He says he honed his skills as a salesman by selling his freshly caught fish at the market with his mom as a young boy. Even then he was always working to negotiate the best price. While he says “being a redneck millionaire has its perks,” including buying new trucks, gadgets and swanky suits, working with kin can be a headache.

Phil Robertson is the patriarch of the family.  He is a living legend in Louisiana and is better known by his alias; the Duck Commander. He played first-string quarterback ahead of football star Terry Bradshaw at Louisiana Tech University in the ’60s. They were both drafted into the NFL but Phil turned it down because it interfered with duck season. Instead he stayed in Louisiana, married his high school sweetheart, Miss Kay, built a house down by the river and together they raised four sons. His love for the outdoors lead him to create the Duck Commander® Duck Call in 1973, which has gone on to become the most trusted duck whistle ever conceived. Duck hunting is so important to Phil that he follows a strict routine of no showering, no shaving, and no clothes washing of any kind during the ten-week season to ensure a bountiful haul.

Jase Robertson is Willie’s brother and his polar opposite. While Willie enjoys making deals behind the desk, Jase would much rather call the swamp his office. But he knows he’s gotta earn his keep, so Jase’s job within the company is to fabricate the duck calls that have made Duck Commander famous. When pressed, Jase can churn out a thousand new calls in a flash, but he likes to take his time so that Willie doesn’t expect the same performance every day. Jase has more important things than work on his mind, namely, duck hunting. Jase’s motto is “Only three things matter: God, then family, then ducks.”

Si Robertson is my favorite on the show.  He is Phil’s brother, best friend, and partner in crime. He has a very specific job in the workshop, fashioning the reeds that are inserted in every patented duck call. It’s a pretty easy job, made needlessly difficult by the fact that Si can never seem to stay on task. The Vietnam vet will often share his war stories with the guys, which usually gets the crew behind schedule, much to Willie’s dismay. Si’s most famous story is that while serving overseas, his mother sent him a blue mug. Thirty years later it’s still hanging from his back pocket and he continues to only drink from this cup, every day.

Kay Robertson is the revered matriarch of the family. What she says goes. She was 16 when she married Phil and since then she’s been keeping him and the boys from spending too much time in the woods, bringing them back to civilization each night with a home cooked meal. Kay believes her cooking talents are a gift which she must share, so she often ends up feeding all of the family and most of the neighborhood. Her most famous dishes are banana pudding, fried deer steak, crawfish pie, and sticky frog legs.

If you haven't seen Duck Dynasty, give it a chance. I highly recommend it.

Cryoablation and Hope

Tomorrow Mom goes in to the hospital for treatment on her kidney tumor. As you can see from the CT scan capture it is a large tumor. The procedure that the doctors are going to use is called cryoablation.

Cryoablation uses hollow needles through which cooled, thermally conductive, fluids are circulated. Cryoprobes are inserted into the tumor. When the probes are in place, the cryogenic freezing unit removes heat ("cools") from the tip of the probe and by extension from the surrounding tissues.  The most common application of cryoablation is to ablate solid tumors found in the lung, liver, breast, kidney and prostate.

The concept of cryoablation is relatively new in cancer surgery for any disease.  Traditionally, surgeons have treated cancer by literally cutting it out. In contrast to this approach, cryoablation is a different concept in that cold energy is used to destroy the cancerous tissue at the exact site where it exists in the body. Cryoablation is particularly well suited to kidney cancer.

Cryoablation is a very promising new approach to kidney cancer. This kind of new treatment is why I am a strong supporter of cancer research.  I have spent the last six years doing all that I can to raise money for cancer research through the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life.  As I was researching this procedure I came across the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center Library website.  I found these words about Renal Cryoablation that were written in 2008.  "Early results have demonstrated that it may offer an alternative for the treatment of renal masses with the advantages of minimal complications, spared renal function, decreased overall costs and equivalent oncologic efficacy. Long-term results are required in order to apply this minimally invasive technique to a broader spectrum of patients".  Just five years ago the procedure that will be used on my Mom tomorrow was a brand new technology.  It has only been available in Arkansas for two years.

Several large medical centers have produced data demonstrating that kidney cancer is cured in approximately 97 percent of patients who undergo cryoablation with a follow-up of three years. Because it is such a new procedure , 10 year follow-up information on patients having undergone cryoablation is not yet available.  Some of the data is showing 98 to 100 percent cure rates.

I know that at Relay For Life events we often hear that we are raising money to find a cure. Cancer is not just one disease, it is many many diseases. Sometimes when we see how many people are affected by cancer and how much misery suffering and sadness it causes it seems hopeless. In my work for the American Cancer Society people often tell me that there will never be a cure because cancer is a big business and the doctors and pharmaceutical companies would suppress a cure if it was found. What a sad way of life it is for these people who have no hope. One of the things that Relay For Life events around the world focus on is providing people with hope. Hope is why we Relay!

  

I like a statement that the American Cancer Society released recently.  "Together with our millions of supporters, we save lives and create more birthdays by helping you stay well, helping you get well, finding cures and fighting back against this disease. Thanks to research funded by the American Cancer Society, many cancers that were once considered a death sentence can now be cured and for many more people their cancer can now be treated effectively".  It is way to simplistic to be focusing on a cure.  The American Cancer Society is focusing on "cures".  The fact that many cancers that were once considered a death sentence can now be cured should give us hope.  The fact that six years ago when I got involved with Relay For Life the treatment that my Mom will undergo tomorrow would not have been available to her gives me hope.  The 97 to 100 percent cure rates that have been seen with renal cryoablation gives me hope.

I ask for your prayers for Mom and her doctors as she undergoes the procedure tomorrow, because most of all God gives us hope.  "For You are my hope, O Lord GOD"  Psalms 71:5

Speeding Tickets

No one likes to get a speeding ticket.  I haven't gotten very many over the years, but each one is memorable.  It is just not something that I forget.  When my granddaughter Rebekah was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana  my wife had taken a week off of work so that she could stay help with the new baby.  That meant that I had to drive back home alone.

On my way out of Baton Rouge, I took Highway 190 to Interstate 49.  I have traveled Highway 190 quite a bit, and I know that you just don't speed on it.  It is heavily patrolled.  The speed limit was 65 mph, so I set the cruise control on the MINI at 67 mph.  I traveled along with the flow of traffic listening to a book on CD about Benjamin Franklin.

As I came into the town of Point Barre, the speed limit dropped from 65 mph to 45 mph.  I tapped the cruise control and traveled along with several other cars as we slowed down.  The next thing I knew, there were blue lights in my rear view mirror.  The patrolman must have been shooting his radar right at the 45 mph sign, and he had to pick me out of 4 or 5 cars to stop, as we were all traveling the same speed.  The ticket cost me 160 dollars.  To say the least, I was not happy.  I felt that the ticket was unfair.  I had been trying to obey the law and yet I got a ticket.

I have received one speeding ticket since that day.  About a year later while I was travelling to Baton Rouge for a visit I was once again on Highway 190.  As I was travelling along with several other cars we entered a construction zone near Point Barre and the speed limit dropped from 65 to 45.  The group of cars I was in slowed to 45 and traveled through the construction zone.  As we left the construction zone, a Louisiana State Trooper pulled me over and gave me a ticket for doing 55 in a 45 zone.  I hadn't slowed down quite quick enough.  Once again I was not happy.  I felt that the ticket was unfair.  I had been trying to obey the law and yet I got a ticket.

My situation reminded me of an illustration that I have heard explaining God's grace.  Imagine yourself driving down the road, doing 100 mph in a 55 mph zone. A police officer stops you. If he gives you a ticket--that is justice--for you got what you deserve. If he lets you off with just a warning--that is grace--for though you deserved a ticket, he did not give you one.

I have thought about that illustration and realized that it doesn't quite fit.  If he lets you off with just a warning--that isn't grace, it is mercy--for though you deserved a ticket, he did not give you one.  However, if, instead of charging you, he personally escorts you to your destination-- that is grace--for he gave you more than mercy, more than pardon, more than you ever expected, more than you could ever deserve.

There are many Christians who like me in Point Barre feel that they aren't really doing anything all that bad. They are trying to obey the speed limit, which should count for something.  They don't see grace being all that great.  They are trying to live right.  God should realize that.

The “I surrender all” Christian realizes that the law has been broken whether he was going 5 miles over the limit or 55.  He realizes that he deserves the ticket, and he is overwhelmed by the unexpected grace.



Romans 5:17 tells us that "if, through one man, death ruled because of that man’s offense, how much more will those who receive such overflowing grace and the gift of righteousness rule in life because of one man, Jesus Christ!

I wish for you overflowing grace!

C is for Cancer

The ABC Wednesday Meme is a great way to see some great blogs. This week the letter is "C".  C is for Cancer.

A couple of weeks ago, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer.  All of a sudden, the work that I have done with Relay For Life and the American Cancer Society came sharply into focus.  It became even more personal.

The American Cancer Society Relay For Life is a life-changing event that gives everyone a chance to celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and fight back against the disease.  It is the top non-profit fundraising event in the world with over 5,200 events in the U.S. and with events in countries around the world.

I have been involved in Relay For Life since 2007. The number one reason I became involved is because my wife is passionate about Relay. She has such a passion for Relay For Life that it rubs off on those around her. Her passion stems from her family history. Her mother died of cancer when Gina was just 21 years old. Her father had colon cancer, and all three of her sisters have had breast cancer. She is the only person in her immediate family that is cancer free.  To read her story click here.

Several years ago, Gina's sister Roberta got involved with Relay For Life in Enumclaw, Washington. For a number of years, Gina would travel to Enumclaw to be a part of Relay For Life there. Six years ago, we learned that Polk County was going to have a Relay. We got involved in the 2007 Relay, and have been involved ever since.

My uncle, Delbert Lawry, died from cancer a few of years ago. I lost not only an uncle, but a friend and someone who was willing to help anytime. Since then my sister-in-law Lenora lost her long battle with cancer.  I have come to realize the importance of the work that the American Cancer Society does. It is involved in research, prevention, and helping those who are dealing with cancer.

Now with my Mom's diagnosis, I have even more reasons to work hard in my positions with my local Relay For Life of Polk County, Arkansas and on the Arkansas State Relay For Life Leadership Council.  The procedure that she is having done has only been available for a few years.  For me it is just one more proof that funding cancer research is so vitally important!

Just about everyone has been affected by cancer in one way or another. Relay For Life is a fun way to raise money and awareness for the American Cancer Society. There is probably no other cause that a person can support that touches more lives. Relay celebrates those who have battled cancer, it remembers those who have fallen, and it provides a way to fight back. That is why I am proud to be a part of Relay For Life. I hope that you will be a part of Relay For Life too. You can go to the Relay For Life website and search for an event near you.

For more cancer info be sure to check out cancer.org and the Polk County Relay For Life blog.